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 F*CK MY LIFE!

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Tony Stark
Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever the fuck you were gonna do anyway
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Zodiac : Aries
Age : 52
Miestas : Staten Island
Pranešimų skaičius : 8853
Join date : 2010-03-12

RašytiTemos pavadinimas: Re: F*CK MY LIFE!   Kv. 08 11 2011, 10:51

PARKER: Today, I was riding on the bus, when I felt a weird sensation on my hair. The person behind me was petting it. FML
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Audrey Morrigan
Far from the world of you and I
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Zodiac : Capricorn
Age : 30
Pranešimų skaičius : 6101
Join date : 2009-11-21

RašytiTemos pavadinimas: Re: F*CK MY LIFE!   Kv. 08 11 2011, 11:17

Tony: Today, I woke up to find my face all red and swollen. Turns out it is caused by the medication I’ve been taking for over a week now. Only in very rare cases it will cause redness on your skin. I’m glad to know I’m special. FML

___________
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Parker
My money is not in my account. That makes my cry inside... in my special angry place.
avatar

Zodiac : Aries
Age : 30
Miestas : Brooklyn, New York
Pranešimų skaičius : 1136
Join date : 2011-05-18

RašytiTemos pavadinimas: Re: F*CK MY LIFE!   Kv. 08 11 2011, 12:02

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

:DDDDDDDDD
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Audrey Morrigan
Far from the world of you and I
avatar

Zodiac : Capricorn
Age : 30
Pranešimų skaičius : 6101
Join date : 2009-11-21

RašytiTemos pavadinimas: Re: F*CK MY LIFE!   Kv. 08 11 2011, 12:05

OH GAWD, HAVE MERCY! :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Parker: Today, I was brushing my teeth and shaving in the shower. My favorite song came on, and I got mixed up. My tongue and mouth are cut badly now. FML

OUCH!

___________
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Parker
My money is not in my account. That makes my cry inside... in my special angry place.
avatar

Zodiac : Aries
Age : 30
Miestas : Brooklyn, New York
Pranešimų skaičius : 1136
Join date : 2011-05-18

RašytiTemos pavadinimas: Re: F*CK MY LIFE!   Kv. 08 11 2011, 13:42

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he dates me. He immediately responded, "Well, TV shows are boring and predictable, so you're a good source of fresh and interesting drama." FML
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Audrey Morrigan
Far from the world of you and I
avatar

Zodiac : Capricorn
Age : 30
Pranešimų skaičius : 6101
Join date : 2009-11-21

RašytiTemos pavadinimas: Re: F*CK MY LIFE!   Kv. 08 11 2011, 15:29

*le drama queen* xD

Parker: Today, I signed up to a Christian website in order to try and 'find God again'. I got banned. FML
:DDD

___________
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Parker
My money is not in my account. That makes my cry inside... in my special angry place.
avatar

Zodiac : Aries
Age : 30
Miestas : Brooklyn, New York
Pranešimų skaičius : 1136
Join date : 2011-05-18

RašytiTemos pavadinimas: Re: F*CK MY LIFE!   Kv. 08 11 2011, 16:46

Aww, poor Parker :DDDD

Today, I found out my blood type is B. My parents are type A and type O. It's not genetically possible to be blood type B if your parents are A and O. This means I am either an adoptee, a mutant, or an illegitimate child. FML
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Audrey Morrigan
Far from the world of you and I
avatar

Zodiac : Capricorn
Age : 30
Pranešimų skaičius : 6101
Join date : 2009-11-21

RašytiTemos pavadinimas: Re: F*CK MY LIFE!   Kv. 08 11 2011, 17:34

Parker: Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML

___________
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Parker
My money is not in my account. That makes my cry inside... in my special angry place.
avatar

Zodiac : Aries
Age : 30
Miestas : Brooklyn, New York
Pranešimų skaičius : 1136
Join date : 2011-05-18

RašytiTemos pavadinimas: Re: F*CK MY LIFE!   Kv. 08 11 2011, 17:40

Today, I woke up to see my cat crawling out my window onto the roof. Afraid he was going to jump to the ground, I crawled out my window as well. I caught him. The neighbors caught me in my underwear and bra yelling at my cat on the roof. FML

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Audrey Morrigan
Far from the world of you and I
avatar

Zodiac : Capricorn
Age : 30
Pranešimų skaičius : 6101
Join date : 2009-11-21

RašytiTemos pavadinimas: Re: F*CK MY LIFE!   Kv. 08 11 2011, 18:35

Seems like everyday for Audz xD

Parker: Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. TWICE. FML

___________
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Parker
My money is not in my account. That makes my cry inside... in my special angry place.
avatar

Zodiac : Aries
Age : 30
Miestas : Brooklyn, New York
Pranešimų skaičius : 1136
Join date : 2011-05-18

RašytiTemos pavadinimas: Re: F*CK MY LIFE!   Pen. 08 12 2011, 13:13

Today, I found my iPhone. Too bad it was when I was getting my clothes out of the washer. FML
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Audrey Morrigan
Far from the world of you and I
avatar

Zodiac : Capricorn
Age : 30
Pranešimų skaičius : 6101
Join date : 2009-11-21

RašytiTemos pavadinimas: Re: F*CK MY LIFE!   Pen. 08 12 2011, 21:20

Grynai mano rl, tik su grotuvu :DDDDD

Parker: Today, I locked myself, drunk and naked, out of my hotel room. FML

___________
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Pepper Potts
You know, there's only 8011 things that I really need to talk to you about.
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Zodiac : Libra
Age : 45
Miestas : Washington, USA
Pranešimų skaičius : 875
Join date : 2011-07-26

RašytiTemos pavadinimas: Re: F*CK MY LIFE!   Pen. 08 19 2011, 18:06

Today, I got dressed in what I thought was a really adorable outfit. I had a cute pink skirt on, a white tank top and silver strappy sandal heels. On my way to the mall a car pulls over and this guy asks me how much for three hours. FML
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Tony Stark
Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever the fuck you were gonna do anyway
avatar

Zodiac : Aries
Age : 52
Miestas : Staten Island
Pranešimų skaičius : 8853
Join date : 2010-03-12

RašytiTemos pavadinimas: Re: F*CK MY LIFE!   Pen. 08 19 2011, 22:54

Today, my fiance, the love of my life, informed me that he proposed because he was sure I'd say no. He was hoping it would lead to our breakup. FML

O-M-G :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
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Pepper Potts
You know, there's only 8011 things that I really need to talk to you about.
avatar

Zodiac : Libra
Age : 45
Miestas : Washington, USA
Pranešimų skaičius : 875
Join date : 2011-07-26

RašytiTemos pavadinimas: Re: F*CK MY LIFE!   Sk. 08 21 2011, 09:31

Kaip žiauriai O_O

Today, I was laying in bed making out with a girl. After trying to figure out for a while why she was spending so much time on my neck it finally hit me. She was frantically and secretly trying to remove the gum she got stuck in my hair. She failed. FML
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Evelyn Salt
If you took the time to notice me.
avatar

Zodiac : Gemini
Age : 42
Pranešimų skaičius : 4949
Join date : 2009-09-25

RašytiTemos pavadinimas: Re: F*CK MY LIFE!   Antr. 08 30 2011, 14:41

Pepper: Today, a colony of ants announced that they'd moved into my bedroom closet as I went to get dressed for work. FML

___________
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Tony Stark
Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever the fuck you were gonna do anyway
avatar

Zodiac : Aries
Age : 52
Miestas : Staten Island
Pranešimų skaičius : 8853
Join date : 2010-03-12

RašytiTemos pavadinimas: Re: F*CK MY LIFE!   Kv. 09 01 2011, 01:37

Evelyn: Today, I went to the movies. Not only did the movie end up being awful, but I came to my car to find out someone drew Squidward from "SpongeBob" with large letters spelling "I LIKE POTATOES!" on my windshield. In permanent marker. FML

Ooooops :DD
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Audrey Morrigan
Far from the world of you and I
avatar

Zodiac : Capricorn
Age : 30
Pranešimų skaičius : 6101
Join date : 2009-11-21

RašytiTemos pavadinimas: Re: F*CK MY LIFE!   Kv. 12 01 2011, 01:13

Tony: Today, I have the stomach flu. If my belly growls, I have 30 seconds or less to get to the bathroom. I can't go to the doctor for fear of shitting my pants on the trip there. FML

___________
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Tony Stark
Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever the fuck you were gonna do anyway
avatar

Zodiac : Aries
Age : 52
Miestas : Staten Island
Pranešimų skaičius : 8853
Join date : 2010-03-12

RašytiTemos pavadinimas: Re: F*CK MY LIFE!   Kv. 12 15 2011, 15:29

^ Unhappy :D

Aud: Today, I decided I wanted to dye my hair a medium brown. Little did I know, some jerk switched the hair dye boxes. My hair is now bright orange. FML
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Johnny Martin

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Zodiac : Taurus
Age : 38
Pranešimų skaičius : 23
Join date : 2012-01-08

RašytiTemos pavadinimas: Re: F*CK MY LIFE!   Pir. 01 09 2012, 20:34

Tony: Today, my therapist told me, "I'm sorry, but I'm not qualified to handle your level of instability." FML

;DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
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Tony Stark
Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever the fuck you were gonna do anyway
avatar

Zodiac : Aries
Age : 52
Miestas : Staten Island
Pranešimų skaičius : 8853
Join date : 2010-03-12

RašytiTemos pavadinimas: Re: F*CK MY LIFE!   Pir. 01 09 2012, 21:44

Johnny: Today, my roomate's cats pooped on the floor again. He refuses to clean it up saying it will be easier to clean in 48 hours. FML
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Ashlynn Scott
Don’t take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.
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Zodiac : Sagittarius
Age : 35
Miestas : Queens, New York
Pranešimų skaičius : 5138
Join date : 2011-02-10

RašytiTemos pavadinimas: Re: F*CK MY LIFE!   Pir. 01 16 2012, 18:54

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

:DDDDDDDDD
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Tony Stark
Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever the fuck you were gonna do anyway
avatar

Zodiac : Aries
Age : 52
Miestas : Staten Island
Pranešimų skaičius : 8853
Join date : 2010-03-12

RašytiTemos pavadinimas: Re: F*CK MY LIFE!   Antr. 01 17 2012, 00:17

^ EINA NX KAI KIETAI ;DDDDDDDDDDDD

Ashlynn: Today, it was my first time taking blood on the ward. The doctor saw that I was nervous and gave me a violent old man with Schizophrenia who thought I was there to kill him. FML

Legit seems this
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Lisbeth Rapace
_Wasp_
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Zodiac : Capricorn
Age : 37
Pranešimų skaičius : 3597
Join date : 2009-09-27

RašytiTemos pavadinimas: Re: F*CK MY LIFE!   Antr. 01 24 2012, 21:19

Tony: Today, I swerved to avoid running over a dead cat in the road. Instead, I ran over its head. The crack of its skull was loud enough for me to hear it. FML

Crying
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Tony Stark
Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever the fuck you were gonna do anyway
avatar

Zodiac : Aries
Age : 52
Miestas : Staten Island
Pranešimų skaičius : 8853
Join date : 2010-03-12

RašytiTemos pavadinimas: Re: F*CK MY LIFE!   Št. 01 28 2012, 22:37

Lisbeth: Today, I was making breakfast. My microwave door was already open, but I couldn't figure that out so I kept pressing the button. According to Einstein, I'm now insane. FML

Insane oficialiai :D
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